Love Languages

There is a great marriage book called, "The Five Love Languages". The author, Gary Chapman, is a Christian author who uses examples from the Bible to illustrate his points. He also wrote "The Five Love Languages for Children" and I have been noticing how true his ideas are with my kids.

Rebecca's main love language is physical touch. We have noticed this about her for a long time. She always wants to snuggle. She likes to sit on the couch while Jack watches the news so that during the commercials she can get tickled. Often when we are at the park, she will come over to me to snuggle up to me instead of playing with the other kids.

Miriam was harder for me to figure out. She is a very independent child, and it seemed for a while that none of the categories fit. But recently I have noticed that she acts out more when she doesn't get one-on-one time with me. It seems like quality time is her love language.

Back when Chick-fil-A had free breakfast on Fridays, we started alternating taking the kids out to breakfast as a date with Mom or Dad. The girls both enjoy this, although I'm not sure how much of it is getting to go out to eat (which we don't do often) and how much is getting a parent to themselves. But they don't let us forget, and will occasionally get up really early on their Friday so they can get ready.

Miriam and I have also started having Together Time (as she calls it). While Joseph is taking his nap, Miriam and I will read stories, play games or do crafts together. Sometimes it is hard for me to do this, because the quiet time without Joseph around is when I can get housework done. But I notice a huge difference in her attitude when I consistently take the time to give her the attention she needs.

Joseph is too young to know what his love language is. All the kids need love from all areas--quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, physical touch-- but they are each unique in what makes them feel most loved.